by Channah Graham
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To say that moving to Israel did wonders for my love life may be a huge understatement. Being a Jewish girl, with a strict policy on only dating Jewish men, I was left with little choice in a world where the only way to meet Jewish guys would be to attend the dreaded Jew-do’s that I loath. In Israel however, I feel like a kid in a candy store! At any point, at any time, I could bump into Mr. Right. And if not, well, he could be a lot of fun for right now. |
Within the first year of moving to Israel I was accosted by a longterm American resident who took me to one side at a Networking event and promptly inquired, “Are you looking for a husband? Because if you don’t find him within four years of moving here you should leave and try looking somewhere else.” Three years on, after laughing at this ridiculous statement, I find myself looking back. Well, if four years is what it takes, I should really be assessing my love life over the last three… shouldn’t I? Let me tell you about a choice three.
When I first moved to Tel Aviv, having been out of the game for a few months in a relationship that was going nowhere, a friend of mine informed me that Tel Aviv was the perfect place to dive back in. My friend, who is rarely single, admitted to me that he had pretty much met every one of his girlfriends on one of the city’s greatest single hotspots --Rothschild Boulevard. Rothschild is a very fashionable boulevard in the center of Tel Aviv dotted with street café’s and restaurants, with the famous Habima Theatre at one end and the banks at the other, giving it a perfect balance of artistic and career driven men/women to choose from. It is especially favored by dog owners. ‘It is a universal truth that a man with a dog in Tel Aviv must be in want of a date’… well otherwise he would be pushing a pram.
My friend actually lives in the neighborhood and never gets tired of handing out his number while walking the boulevard with his dog, Lucky. I thought there must be something in the name, so promptly arranged a day where I would borrow his ‘Lucky’ charm and pretend to be a dog person. Lucky behaved surprisingly well considering she usually bounds around and drags her owner across roads with moving traffic. When she started befriending a cute little French Bulldog with an even cuter owner attached to his leash, I had to give her a treat for a job well done.
This was how I met the skydiver. He was Israeli from one of the country’s well-known dynasties, but that did not stop the fact that like most Israeli men, he was not into the traditional romantic date. I had previously thought this was because all the Israeli men I had dated prior did not have the money, but now I realize that Israelis are just not that into the formalities of dating. Thank goodness! Our first date was a long walk around the city with our dogs. Sadly, Lucky was otherwise engaged. On our second date he took me to Café Masada overlooking the beach, where we shared a bottle of wine and watched the sun set over the Mediterranean. We would go for walks together, talk about skydiving, the reggae music scene, traveling around the world, and oh, could he kiss! We dated only briefly, that is until he realized that I was not really a dog owner, I’m petrified of heights and I actually hate reggae music.
This set the trend for my dating for the rest of the year. My favorite place surprisingly turned out to be a branch of AM: PM, Tel Aviv’s local supermarket which has numerous branches around the city and is known for being the dating supermarket. I stumbled onto this find one Friday afternoon when I was doing some last minute shopping on the way home from the beach. The find? A tall dark handsome Israeli who lived in the States and was visiting family. This was perfect. A man who could speak the language, knew all the best spots, yet had the manners and attention to detail of a Westerner. On the first date he took me to Arbinka Spanish Bar, an understated tapas and cocktail bar that makes the best cosmopolitans in the city. We sat in an intimate booth, drank tequila and got to know each other better. The second date was even better. After mentioning in our previous date that I had a thing for jazz, he took me to a little hole-in-the-wall jazz bar based in the port of Tel Aviv called Shablul. Shablul is everything a jazz bar should be -- a smoky space with brick walls plastered with black and white stills of great jazz musicians, a large black piano dipped in a blue light, and a bar with smoldering bar staff who know their wines. This was my idea of the perfect date, and he even scatted me all the way home afterwards. I still go to that bar. Shame I cannot say the same about the guy.
Then in my third year I met a film director. I love Israeli men. They are far more open than the Anglo men I have been used to my whole life. They talk about their feelings, love their mothers, tell you things like “I would not even consider dating a girl I could not see myself marrying”, take you to meet their friends and family within weeks of you getting together and literally sweep you off your feet. Dating an Israeli guy is also the perfect way to see the ‘real’ side of Israel. To hang out with Israelis as opposed to the Anglo crowd, to go to hang-outs that only Israeli’s would know about, and avoid the tourist trail and the slimy Israeli men who follow it. I had so much hope. But sadly, as much as these Israeli men, especially the Director, love to talk about their feelings, they are also very fickle with them and the relationship had to end. Sounds complicated? It still is.
Channah Graham, 28, born in England, moved to Israel 2004. Living in Tel Aviv, you can keep up with her adventures at channahboo.blogspot .com
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So in my three years of dating, making out and breaking up, what have I learnt that will benefit me for my ‘final year’? I have learnt that no matter how sweaty I am when I walk out of the gym, some guy will ask for a minute of my time, and that in a hot country with hot blooded people around this is a given. I have learnt that if you date an Israeli guy you will find yourself smiling and laughing through conversations that you are not sure are actually funny; that meeting the family on the second date does not mean an imminent marriage proposal. However, in the meantime, dating in Israel opens the doors to romantic walks on the beach at sunset, which beats a first date at TGI Fridays any day of the week.